I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's like iHOP with fire
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
