she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
