ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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