I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
