It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
