she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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