well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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