There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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