apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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