My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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