It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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