why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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