Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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