onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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