I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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