That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
