I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
