yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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