he thought i was a dude.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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