So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So apparently I’m into choking now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
