I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
