hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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