Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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