just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
