Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
