At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We left the knife in your bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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