You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize