his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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