meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
