she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
