Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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