If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We got so high we made milksteak
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
