why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is it penis luge time yet?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
