my being single is dangerous.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
