It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
