Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
