Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
