That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She needs sedatives and a leash
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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