There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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