I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
