U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
