captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
