i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
