No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
