Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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