Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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