Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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