Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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