i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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