glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize