As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
