I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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