I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
