Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
