This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
