your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize