Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize