i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize