ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
