I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize