Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
