OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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