will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
