Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
