We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
