meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
