i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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