I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
